


If You Really Love Me

by Whreflections



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-30
Updated: 2006-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whreflections/pseuds/Whreflections
Summary: Short little piece on what I think really should have been said after Sawyer's well known, heartfelt line "If you really love me..."  Skate oneshot.
Relationships: Kate Austen/James "Sawyer" Ford
Kudos: 3





	If You Really Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> A few years ago, I moved everything that was not a WIP and that I considered good enough to still be representative of my writing/my style over to AO3. I don’t think that was a bad decision, but recently I’ve come to realize that…even if my early stuff isn’t great, there’s purpose in bringing it here. 
> 
> For one, just because I’ve improved and would no longer be able to say I’m proud of some of it from my current perspective doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone out there who loves it. I know for a fact that I love some very old fics that authors have decided no longer represented them and they took them down—and I’ve hated that. I understand everyone has to do what they feel is right, but I don’t want to do that. 
> 
> For another, its my history. I have been writing fanfiction in my head since I was 4 and in word documents since I was 14. My first posted stories were posted when I was 18. Of course those first stories aren’t going to be anything like what I can do now; how could they be? But everyone starts somewhere, and that shouldn’t be hidden. So, any story with this Author’s Note of mine can be considered part of my own personal archives—a bit of the past. I’ll have a note below this to give the status of this particular one—
> 
> This is very old, and very much not representative of my current work. Still, it happened—and even if the work itself isn’t something I’d be proud of now, I’m proud of the work my past self put into it. Writing is a muscle that you just have to keep working. We’re all continually improving. (Incidentally, this was the very first fic I ever posted. I skipped my Classics class to do it XD)

"If you really love me, go." Sawyer choked the words out, looking away. He didn't want her to see the tears, the fear in his eyes. To see how much her answer really meant to him. Kate grabbed the bars, coming up closer to him.

"Sawyer, I do love you, that's why I can't go."

Sawyer shuddered, trying to accept the magnitude of her words. One glance at his wrist reminded him there was no time for his own feelings. "Then go, Freckles, if you love me! I mean it, dammit, get out of here and leave me!" He wanted to walk away, turn his back, but the words were all he could do. He was draining every ounce of his energy into those words.

"Why are you doing this? Huh, Sawyer? _What_ did they do to you?" Kate reached through the bars to touch him and he jerked away.

"Dammit, Kate, it doesn't matter! Now will you just stop trying to be noble and get your ass into that jungle?" She looked hurt and it was agony, but maybe he had succeeded. Maybe she would go. Cutting his eyes back in her direction he saw her crying and he couldn't help the instinct that washed over him. His voice was softer now, pleading. "Freckles, come on now, just go. I'll be alright."

Kate shook her head. "But you're _not_ alright, they did something to you that was enough to make you lie to me, something to scare you and that terrifies me, Sawyer, it makes me want to get you out of here. I just want to get out of here. But I want us both out, and I won't go without you."

He couldn't stand to see her cry, and he slipped his arms through the bars, holding her as close as he could. "Don't cry, Freckles. We'll be alright."

"Sawyer, tell me what happened to you."

Sawyer sighed, shaking his head. "I've told you, I can't tell you. If I could I would but I can't. I won't. So stop askin' me. But…" his voice dropped, soft and almost inaudible, "I love you, and you've got to trust me and either run right now or don't ever try to get out again."

Kate's tears slowed. "What did you say?"

Uneasy, Sawyer looked away. "Do you trust me? Will you?"

Kate paused, studying him for a minute. She knew the answer; she had for a long time. "Yes. I'll trust you." Kate slid her hand through the bars, tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him warmly. For a moment Sawyer let himself be lost in her but his monitor began to beep insistently and he pulled away from her.

"No more, Freckles. We can't."

"Why?"

"I told you to trust me." Sawyer's voice was hard edged and cold, and Kate had learned by now that he often used that to hide behind. Slowly, reluctantly, she turned and climbed back into her own cage, slipping easily down through the bars. Sawyer stood with his back to her, facing the wall, hearing her words and feeling her arms around his neck all over again. "I love him. I love him, please!" Somehow, he realized, his life was never going to be the same. More than ever, more than any other time since he had come to this island he had to put her life before his, her safety before his. It was a new concept for him, but it came surprisingly easy. Love had snuck up on him, taken him from behind. He didn't feel like fighting anymore.


End file.
